


Break A Little

by two_of_swords



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Dead Welsh Kings, Implied Sexual Content, Life at the Barns, M/M, Minor Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 16:13:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12461313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/two_of_swords/pseuds/two_of_swords
Summary: I’mma get over you one of these days.Ronan Lynch had never had much self control when it came to Adam Parrish and this thing they tended to do whenever they saw each other now. But, it was always Adam who was dubiously single when they’d hooked up in the past, mostly because Ronan had never asked. Whatever moral code Ronan pretended to have regarding infidelity had yet to be truly tested on his part.





	Break A Little

"I thought you were gonna help me," Ronan grunted, attempting to hand a bale of hay from the loft down to Gansey below.

Gansey grinned stupidly at his phone, as if he was holding a puppy or a kitten. Ronan had never looked at his phone that way. "Oh, sorry," Gansey finally said, stowing it in his pocket and shouldering the hay bale, fingers searching for the twine handholds. As he swung the bale onto the hay rack behind him, his pocket buzzed again. Ronan watched him scramble to retrieve it.

"What's going on there?" Ronan asked, pointing to Gansey's phone.

"Parrish is coming to the museum’s dedication party," Gansey answered, gleefully. "He just confirmed."

Ronan tried his best to look disinterested. He pulled a few more hay bales from the tall stack and tossed them closer to the edge of the loft. Dust and debris swirled through the air where they landed. "He was able to get off work? Jesus, it’s fucking early there. What is he even doing up?"

"He’s not in California. He’s in D.C. That’s why he’s able to come here for a couple of days."

This made Ronan pause. “What’s he doing in D.C.?”

“Business trip,” Gansey said, distracted.

"Did he bring the girlfriend?"

"She has a name, you know. But, no, he didn’t. They broke up."

_What a shame_ , Ronan thought. He wasn't even sure which girlfriend they were talking about. "Boyfriend?"

"No. He's single at the moment," Gansey responded, eyeing Ronan warily. "Do I have to remind you that you're not?"

Ronan didn’t respond. He had never had much self control when it came to Adam Parrish and this thing they tended to do whenever they saw each other now. But, it was always Adam who was dubiously single when they’d hooked up in the past, mostly because Ronan had never asked. Whatever moral code Ronan pretended to have regarding infidelity had yet to be truly tested on his part.

"Ronan," Gansey said, reading his mind, probably. "You cannot sleep with Adam while he's here."

"I'm not an idiot, Dick," Ronan said. He handed him another bale of hay.

“What is all this for anyway?” Gansey asked, gesturing to the neatly stacked hay rack.

“The cows. It would have gone a lot faster if Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum had come too. Where are they?”

“Still sleeping. Henry’s flight was delayed, so he got in late. Then Blue wanted to catch up. There was drinking involved.”

“You’re still here.”

“I never get as much sleep as they do anyway. Have I ever thanked you for asking Cabeswater to cure my insomnia?”

“Yeah. You’re welcome you ungrateful piece of shit.”

Gansey laughed. Ronan couldn’t help but smile back at him.

 

\-----

 

The party was as bad as Ronan thought it would be. Gansey technically still owned Monmouth Manufacturing, but he had donated the space within to the Virginia Historical Society to house the artifacts from the tomb of Owen Glendower and the empty shill grave found in the area. Gansey had insisted that everything stay in Henrietta and Gansey had gotten his way. The Gray Man thought it was foolish and had told Gansey as much on one of his recent visits. Ronan had been there when they argued about it.

“I’ve worked my ass of for years to keep unpleasant people off your doorstep and now you’re just inviting them back in,” Mr. Gray had said. He sounded tired.

Ronan thought Mr. Gray had a point. It wouldn’t be hard for those who traded in magical artifacts to make the connection, even for those who had not known Niall Lynch. Mr. Gray was wrong, though, about one thing: general curiosity might bring them to Henrietta, but their EMF readers would bring them straight to Singer’s Falls. It wasn’t Gansey’s doorstep they would flock to, it was Ronan’s. But Gansey could not be persuaded.

“This is about politics, isn’t it? I’ve seen your mother’s poll numbers. The timing is very interesting,” Mr. Gray said, his tone had turned icy.

Gansey went rigid in a way that indicated the Gray Man was right. The thought had never occurred to Ronan. He remembered the story they had told Gansey’s parents when the world had fallen apart all those years ago. They should have known that his mom would save the information for later use; that she’d lean on Gansey to make his “discovery” public when it benefitted her the most.

“It’s going to be a natural history museum. There’s nothing magical about it,” Gansey said, avoiding the real question. “I’ve reviewed and approved the copy for all of the displays. There is not one mention of anything even remotely mystical.”

_So the whole thing is a lie,_ Ronan had thought at the time and it had left a bad taste in his mouth- one that lingered even now as the museum’s dedication party progressed around him. He needed a drink to wash it away. Thank God for the open bar they had assembled where the pool table used to be.

“This place is something else,” The bartender said, attempting to earn his tips through small talk as he poured Ronan’s drink. Ronan didn’t know if he meant Monmouth or Henrietta, so he picked a response appropriate for either.

“I used to live here.”

“Really? It’s kind of creepy. Is it haunted?”

The question was disorienting. The bartender stared at him as he slid the drink to Ronan, waiting for a response. “Not anymore,” Ronan said, hastily stuffing a twenty dollar bill in the tip jar. Fuck small talk. He turned around just in time to overhear a journalist interviewing Senator Gansey nearby.

“I know you’ve always been a big supporter of the arts,” the reporter gushed.

Ronan smirked. _But not a big supporter of the civil liberties of some of your son’s closest friends,_ he thought to himself. Damn. He was in a bad mood. Fucking politics. Yep, it was definitely the politics that bothered him. Not the sight of Adam Parrish across the room looking gorgeous in a royal blue button down shirt that emphasized the color of his eyes and his tan. Ronan wanted to destroy something. It was one of his baser emotions that he thought he’d gotten under control a long fucking time ago.

“Where did you say your boyfriend was again?” Blue Sargent asked, sidling up to the makeshift bar. She was looking in the same direction that Ronan was looking, which meant that she too was looking at Adam.

“I didn’t,” Ronan responded. He took a sip of his drink and let the liquor warm the back of his throat. Adam caught his eye and nodded slightly in acknowledgment. Ronan looked away.

“Don’t be an asshole,” Blue said, giving him a look. The look was more meaningful than her words.

“Scott’s at a conference for Veterinarians in San Antonio, ok? Happy?”

“Jealous, actually,” she sighed wistfully.

“I know. This is fucking weird.”

“Oh God. So weird. Shh. Here comes Gansey.”

Ronan snorted.

“What do you guys think?” Gansey asked, mustering as much enthusiasm as he could.

“It’s a great party, babe,” Blue lied, reaching out to run her hand down Gansey’s arm.

“I can’t wait for you guys to see the exhibit downstairs. We should be going down there soon. Once everyone has had a chance to get a drink and mingle a little bit,” Gansey explained, a nervous edge to his voice. Ronan could see the doubt Gansey tried so hard to keep buried deep creeping back up to the surface. He badly wanted their approval- not just for the museum’s aesthetics, but for going public in the first place. He could probably sense their reluctance to give it and Ronan could tell that it was making him anxious.

Gansey turned to Ronan. “You won’t recognize the place.”

“I already don’t. What’s in my room?” He gestured to the closed door to Gansey’s right.

“That’s going to be the curator’s office, but it’s not finished yet. She’s around here somewhere. I should introduce you.”

“Can I tell her about the night horror we killed in there that one time?”

“Absolutely not,” Gansey replied, with no trace of humor.

“You’re almost as bad as Parrish now. No fun,” Ronan teased. It was Blue’s turn to snort.

“Excuse me, Mr. Gansey, I’d like to take a picture of you and the friends who were with you when you discovered the tomb,” The journalist said, gesturing to a man holding a large, fancy camera next to her. “To go with the article I’m writing.”

“Of course,” He beamed, Richard Campbell Gansey III charm now in full effect.

Blue rolled her eyes dramatically. Ronan nudged her with his elbow and smiled dangerously into his drink.

“Parrish!” Gansey called, waving Adam over. Ronan watched as Adam politely excused himself from the discussion he was having with their former Aglionby English teacher, Jonah Milo.

“Have you seen Henry?” Gansey asked when Adam joined them.

“He was talking to Mr. Gray last I saw,” Adam responded, taking the spot next to Ronan by the bar. “What’s going on?”

“Picture time,” Ronan muttered, acutely aware of how close Adam was standing to him.

“Great,” Adam deadpanned. “What are you drinking?” He took the glass from Ronan’s hand and took a small sip. Their fingers brushed when he handed it back. It was such a small thing, but it felt strangely intimate.

“What do you think?” Ronan asked.

Adam shrugged then turned and gestured to the bartender. “I’ll have the same.”

“You don’t drink.”

“I do on occasion.”

“People change, I guess.”

“I guess so,” Adam said, reaching up to rustle Ronan’s short curls. “When did you do this?”

Adrenaline surged through Ronan at Adam’s touch. “I’m growing it out for the winter. It gets too fucking cold.” He may also have been influenced by Scott, but he left that part out.

“I like it. You look good.”

Ronan just stared at him in disbelief. Adam was flirting and Ronan was defenseless. Blue and Gansey were too preoccupied with finding Henry to intervene as they had been doing all night.

Once they returned with Henry in tow, the journalist picked a spot with better lighting and had them line up. It seemed that Adam took advantage of the opportunity to lean even closer to Ronan. He drew in a sharp breath when he felt Adam place his hand on the small of his back. The gesture transported him back to another time: a time when Adam would have done the same thing to bolster him when he needed it, a time when it was allowed. He closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry, we’re going to have to do that again. Your eyes were closed,” the guy with the camera said, pointing at Ronan.

“Lynch!” Henry cried. “What are you doing, man?”

Adam immediately dropped his hand and stared at Ronan, his eyes questioning, but not apologetic. _Jesus Christ_ , he needed to get his shit together.

“Fuck off, Cheng,” he growled.

“Aww. There’s the Ronan we all know and love,” Henry retorted.

The camera guy got the shot he wanted, but the journalist lingered, jotting down the correct spelling of their names and asking about their current locations and occupations for the article. Ronan was only barely paying attention when he heard Adam hesitate before responding to one of the questions. It wasn’t unusual. Adam had good reasons for wanting to be vague about his current living arrangements.

“I’m in California now, but…” He looked at Ronan. For encouragement, maybe? Ronan didn’t know, so he just nodded slightly, as Adam had earlier. “I recently accepted a new job in D.C.”

Adam’s response was so completely unexpected that Ronan had to take a step back. He didn’t wait to hear the journalist’s response or look to see if any of the others had heard. He turned and headed straight for the door, bolting down the stairs and past the workers that were still putting the finishing touches on the exhibit before its grand debut. He didn’t look back until he felt the cool September evening air on his face and in his soul.

He stopped walking when he reached the cement retaining wall at the back of the building that blocked off the old factory’s receiving dock. The wall hid all of the leftover construction materials from the remodel they had barely finished in time for tonight’s party. This attempted deception made Ronan feel better, like he was finally seeing something true.

He sat on the wall and swung his legs over to the other side and let them dangle. The driveway sloped down to the receiving door, so he estimated he was about ten feet off the ground on this side. He reached behind him, picked up a couple of pieces of gravel and began lobbing them at the pile of trash below.

He replayed the memory of the last time he and Adam were together in his head. The sex had been incredible- it was always best after they’d been apart for a long period of time- and they were wrapped around each other in Ronan’s bed at the Barns, naked and satiated. Ronan had brought Adam’s fingers to his mouth and kissed them gently. Then, when he couldn’t bear it any longer, he asked the question that had been on his mind since what felt like the beginning of time.

”Why are we not together?"

"Because I won't stay and you won't leave,” Adam had drawled, half asleep. Ronan wasn’t sure which hurt more: the finality of Adam’s words or the rare appearance of his Henrietta accent.

_I won’t stay,_ he had said. But he was coming back now, which was all Ronan had wanted from him in the first place. His mind hummed with possibility, but he refused to let himself feel it. He didn’t want to be disappointed again.

Ronan heard someone approaching and knew without looking that it was Adam. There was a time in his life when everything about Adam was seared into his memory- things that didn’t just go away when they broke up- things that came back to Ronan when he least expected or wanted them- like the sound of his footsteps on gravel. Like a hand on his back.

He knew they should talk, about Adam’s impending move to D.C., about how the others were hovering around them for reasons both known and unknown, about how they could not do the thing they usually do in this situation. Instead, Ronan just kept throwing rocks while Adam carefully inspected the wall for anything that could get his pants dirty before taking a seat.

After several silent minutes, one of the rocks bounced off a roof tile and into the mouth of a long piece of PVC pipe. It began to slowly roll down the length of the tube, gathering speed, until it slid neatly into a discarded chipped flower pot at the bottom of the pile.

Ronan smiled and looked at Adam. “Did you see that?”

Adam laughed. “You couldn’t pull that off again if you tried.”

“You wanna bet?” It was silly and juvenile, but it was better than talking about feelings.

“Sure. What do I get when you lose?”

“I’ll make Cheng wear Glendower’s helmet.”

“And you’ll convince the journalist to take his picture.”

“You drive a hard bargain. And if I win?”

Adam took his time contemplating an acceptable prize. Finally he said, “I’ll fix the nearest fray in the ley line while I’m here.”

Ronan opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. He hadn’t expected Adam to pull the magician card. Now he felt like an ass. He should have offered to dream something for him. Magic for magic. Although convincing Henry Cheng to do anything to jeopardize his gravity-defying hair was probably it’s own special kind of magic.

“Deal,” Ronan agreed, pushing up the sleeves of his sweater. He scooped up a handful of rocks and got to work. He missed his first several tries and rewarded Adam with a poetic string of obscenities each time.

Adam laughed until he couldn’t breathe. “It’s simple, Lynch. It’s just physics,” he teased, once he could speak again.

Ronan shrugged. “I didn’t take Physics, Einstein. I don’t think.” He launched another rock. This one teetered on the edge of the tile for several long seconds before dropping belatedly into the pipe. “Ha!” Ronan exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

“No way!” Adam shouted. “No way. I didn’t see it come out the other end.”

“Like hell it didn’t.”

They both scrambled over the short edge of the wall and raced down the slope to the trash pile, jostling each other the entire way. When they reached the flower pot, Ronan said “There are two rocks in there.” He placed his hand on Adam’s shoulder, directing him where to look.

Adam bent over to peer at the contents of the pot. “I don’t think that’s the same rock.”

“Oh, whatever, man. I totally won.”

“Fine,” Adam conceded, straightening. “You win. When do you want to collect your prize?”

They were standing dangerously close and the heat of Adam’s shoulder warmed the palm of Ronan’s hand. He hastily removed it and took a step back before Adam could lean too close again.

Adam looked at him curiously. “Ronan, I know we can’t…” he started to say, but stopped himself. He looked down at the ground, his brow furrowed. He shuffled his feet a bit back and forth. Ronan could tell he was working through something. When Adam finally looked up, his face was flushed and his eyes blazed with desire. “I still would, though, if you wanted to. Just let me know.” Then he walked away.

That look. It used to set Ronan on fire. It still did, if he was being honest with himself. But it was the words that really left him reeling. As if not saying the word sex made the implied proposal any less indecent. He almost laughed, but he didn’t trust himself to do the right thing if Adam turned back around, so he kept his mouth shut and watched him go.

_This fucking night_. He wasn’t sure if it could get any worse.

 

\-----

 

Luckily, it didn’t. They all managed to get through the exhibit with only minor symptoms of post-traumatic stress. Ronan thought Gansey had done an incredible job of keeping the museum historical and boring and not interesting at all to any unsavory outsiders looking to connect the dots between the magical and the mundane. Ronan kept his distance from Adam and turned down Henry’s offer for more drinks after, making an excuse about farm related obligations in the morning, which wasn’t totally untrue. Gansey made him promise to meet them for lunch though at the schoolhouse, where the four of them were staying. That he could do. That would be safe.

Ronan followed his usual routine when he got to the Barns. He made Opal go to bed. Fed Chainsaw and locked her in her cage for the night. Closed the windows. Checked the locks. Set the alarm on the newly dreamt up security system. Brushed his teeth in the upstairs bathroom. Retired to his bedroom, where he stripped down to his underwear and collapsed on the bed.

An illicit thrill went through him when his phone buzzed with incoming text messages. It was quickly replaced with disappointment when he saw that the messages were from Scott. What had he been hoping for? It was a stupid question. He had barely thought of Scott at all the entire night. He couldn’t stop thinking about Adam.

He threw his phone down on the bed in disgust without reading the messages and stalked out of the room. He wasn’t going to be able sleep tonight so he might as well try to find something useful to do. He went downstairs to the sitting room and flicked on the light switch. The desk against the wall had once served as his father’s “office” for his illegitimate dream business. It now served Ronan and his legitimate working farm.

He sat down and began rifling through the mess of paperwork that he had let get out of control in the last couple of years. Adam used to help him keep things organized. In return, Ronan let him use the office as a quiet place to study when he was home on break. How many times had Ronan come down here to distract Adam when he was bored and horny? He grinned at the memories of the things they had done on this desk. And the floor. And up against the wall. He felt himself getting hard and was about to slip his hand into his boxers, when he realized what he was doing and scowled, furious at the intrusive thoughts. That was the problem with this place, though. There was no escaping Adam here. He was suddenly filled with longing and regret and weakness. His moral code could go fuck itself. He got up abruptly and left the room, turning off the light on his way out.

He returned to his bedroom.

He picked up his phone.

He texted Adam.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about that last line. I couldn't help myself. This might not be everyone's cup of tea, I'll admit. But here's the truth: as much as I want Adam and Ronan to stay together forever, I'm not sure that would be their reality. I see them falling apart when things get too hard and then coming back together when it makes more sense. I don't think they ever stop loving each other though and unfortunately, people may get hurt along the way. So yeah, that's where this came from. Also, my politics are showing, so I'm a little hard on Mrs. Gansey.
> 
> Title and Summary are from the song _Break A Little_ by Kirstin
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://two-of-swords-621.tumblr.com)!


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